March 2009


…don’t look now, but SOMEONE just took over two ounces from a BOTTLE, and from MOM.

Of course, this was after a four hour nap, but she didn’t even fuss about it.

Where we spent the afternoon, due to Lila's four hour nap in this position. I got to catch up on some tivo though!

Where we spent the afternoon, due to Lila's four hour nap in this position. I got to catch up on some tivo though!

Let’s see if that was a one-time thing, or if we’re turning a corner here. (Please be progress, please be progress.)

Lila had her follow-up MRI today at Children’s. It already feels like another lifetime since she was there, and yet, it felt “normal” to be driving in today.

I have to admit, I was a bit apprehensive about today’s excursion. Lila has thrown fits 2 out of the 3 times we’ve brought her out, and I was a bit nervous about being away from the house for so long, and without Jon to help rescue me. I was pleasantly surprised when Lila fell asleep on the ride into the city, and pretty much slept through the whole appointment, awaking only to nurse, and during part of the MRI (so I hear–I didn’t go into the room with her; we usually wait outside, as no one can leave once the test starts, and I trust her doctors, as they’ve always taken great care of her).

My little baby burrito, all swaddled and ready for her MRI. Like her earplugs??

My little baby burrito, all swaddled and ready for her MRI. Like her earplugs??

She slept the whole ride home also, just starting to wake up once we were back near home. She didn’t even cry when she woke up, just kind of looked at me from her car seat, like, “hey, mom? food, now, please?”. AND she went three hours between feedings today! That could have been due to all of the excitement, as I’m pushing her now to hold off until 9pm for her next one, and she is chomping on her bink (Avent 0-3mos, for you moms; she likes these better than the hospital soothies) something fierce.

(Update: waiting till 9? Not happening. Dad is changing her, and then it’s time to eat! Baby Meltdown has commenced.)

Lila’s pedi also called me tonight with the results of the MRI–as we hoped, things look good. The one spot that showed a small amount of blood in her brain is still there (this was news to us, but apparently it has shown on all the MRIs so far), but the neurologists are not worried, as she seems to be developing as she should.

Her pedi and I also chatted about how things are going at home so far. I told him about her snacking, and how she does better at night than during the day with this. I mentioned possibly looking into introducing formula at some point soon as well. It’s not something we’re looking to do very soon, but something we have been talking about, if only to help keep her full for longer periods of time (formula takes longer to digest), and also to see if she even prefers the taste of it. I would still keep nursing, we would just be adding the formula into the mix. Again, not something we’d try tomorrow, but something we’re considering.

When we got home this afternoon, Lila had a great time lying on this awesome blanket her Aunt Erin made her (I LOVE this blanket, E), and she hung out there for almost an hour and a half, before falling asleep for a little bit. She was too cute, and it was so fun to hang out with her when she was awake, and not screaming to be fed. I was able to snap a couple more pics with the big camera too, and will post some as soon as I have a chance to edit. In the meantime, iphone pics to the rescue!

Peek-a-boo!

Peek-a-boo!

Hanging out on her blanket, playing with her toys

Hanging out on her blanket, playing with her toys

Tuckered out from playing--how CUTE is she?!

Tuckered out from playing--how CUTE is she?!

(Catherine–I know you can’t see it, but this is the outfit you got her! She wore it for her appt today, even the sweater. We love it!)

This parenting thing is SUCH a rollercoaster, and I’m so happy today was an “up” day…yesterday was much harder. I’m looking forward to the day that I am more comfortable with all of it, I know that day will come…eventually.

I can’t believe I didn’t post last night! The first time ever, since we started the blog. The night just got away from us (read: hysterical 4 week old), and I had to decide: blog, or bed. Bed had to win, we are running on fumes over here lately (as expected).

We are still adjusting to life with a newborn (is she still a newborn?? or an infant now?) over here, something I expect to be an ongoing process. I’m sure that as soon as we “solve” one thing, a new one will pop up. Such is life. I wish Jon could have time with us right now, instead of being at work. But I am glad he was there for most of her NICU stay, and wouldn’t have it any other way. That was far more stressful than right now is…I think.

The VNA nurse came again yesterday, to check up on Lila, and do a weight check. Lila gained 2.5oz from Wed-Fri, so I was thrilled. That means she’s getting enough to eat, even with incessant snacking and fast feedings. The nurse was also very happy to see Lila in her “quiet alert” and awake phase, and said that her reflexes and the noises she was making were great.

I finally brought out the Baby Bjorn yesterday also, to see if Lila would like it. True to form, the minute I put her down, to figure out how to put it on, she started screaming. I quickly snapped that sucker on as fast as I could, and stuck her in it, still screaming. Seconds later, she was fast asleep, snoring peacefully. WIN! I left her in it until I had to wake her for her next feeding, and was able to do a load of laundry, use the computer, and pick up around the house. I love this thing. I will try the Moby Wrap also once I have more time to play with 16 yards of fabric that don’t snap, button, or zip at all. That may take some practice.

We decided to try another bottle feeding when Jon got home last night. Giant Fail. Lila screamed hysterically for about an hour, while Jon patiently tried to get her to take the bottle, to no avail. We finally gave in, because Lila was burning more calories with her angry wailing, than she was taking in. So he handed her on over, and she pulled the old “nurse for 5 minutes and pass out on mom” routine, that is becoming her favorite.

Until last night, Lila was doing so well during the night. I don’t know if I jinxed us by mentioning it on Twitter, or if she was just in a snit from earlier in the night, but she would NOT sleep unless one of us was holding her. She also woke up every hour and a half, and wanted to eat. Needless to say, it was a LONG night for all of us. We are hoping that tonight will not be a repeat performance.

Today we took her for a walk around the neighborhood, it was such a beautiful day out. Lila’s great in her carseat at first, and as long as we are moving. God forbid we stop for any reason (say, to say hello to a neighbor)…little girl has some powerful lungs.

We’ve also been trying to alternate bottle feedings with nursing today. Still a work in progress, but she did take a couple of bottles today. Granted, we are only putting one ounce in each bottle, to avoid wasting more of the milk than we already have, but that is still progress for us. I may try picking up a couple of different types of bottles tomorrow, to see if she has a preference. We’re using Dr. Brown’s now, and while she will go for it occasionally, I just want to see what would happen if we tried something else.

Lila’s best hours in the day seem to be in the late morning. She is having a meltdown now, so I’m thinking it’s pretty much bedtime. This is always a hard time of night, as we’ve been together all day, and she just is inconsolable. I can’t wait until she outgrows this phase.

Oh, I did want to mention a little something about the future of the blog. I keep hearing about how many people are reading about us, and we are so appreciative of all the support we get from you all. I love that we are able to keep our family and friends updated on our lives, even though (hopefully) it may grow more mundane, now that Lila is home with us. I don’t know that I’ll be able to update this daily, especially now that the Little One demands to be held all the time, but we do plan to keep it updated regularly (meaning, a few times a week).

Also, once we are all a little more adjusted, the REAL fun can start–pictures! I haven’t really broken out the “fancy camera” just yet, because I barely have enough time to check email, nevermind use Photoshop, and create the images I’m used to creating…but that time will come. And I can’t WAIT.

A quick teaser, this is the only shot I’ve taken of Lila with the big camera so far. I just did a very quick edit on it also. (Grandparents–Not to worry, I have the big file of this, I can email to you when I have a sec.)

The day she came home, so cute!

The day she came home, so cute!

I think that’s what Lila would say to us, if she could. She LOVES to be held, all the time. And since I haven’t figured out the Moby Wrap just yet, we don’t do a whole heck of a lot around here, except catch up on Tivo. I know a lot of you would say that that is the perfect life for me, but it’s taking some getting used to! I’m not accustomed to leaving things hanging around all over the house, or eating with one hand. But I will be soon, I’m sure.

Just one quick photo tonight, I hope to break out the big camera this weekend, once Jon is home during the day, to get some “better” pics of Lila.

Giving mama the suspicious eye

Giving mama the suspicious eye

And with that, I have to go rescue Jon from a screaming Lila, I think she’s ready to eat again. And then it’s bedtime! YAY.

Well. Parenting is definitely interesting.

Lila demonstrating how we both felt, come 5pm today.

Lila demonstrating how we both felt, come 5pm today.

Jon went back to work today, so it was just Lila and I alone all day. Being the planner that I am, I got up before Jon did, so I could shower and be ready for the pediatrician’s office, before he had to leave for work. Good thing I did, because Lila was eating every hour this morning, up until we left.

Lila was pretty well behaved at the office, and only had a couple of crying jags. She started to get hungry towards the end (to be fair, it was going on 2 hours, so for this little snacker, she was starving), and so we went straight home for some lunch.

Nothing crazy happened at the pedi’s office: we chatted about everything that has happened so far, went over a few of my neurotic concerns (the spit up, the temperature of the house, etc), and that’s about it. Her pedi will see her again at 7 weeks–because we are working with the VNA, the VNA nurse will stay in touch with him, and update him on Lila’s weight gain and other measurements in the meantime. Charlene will be back on Friday, so he will get an update after then.

The afternoon was spent on the couch. I was lucky enough to get in an hour long nap while Lila took her 2 hour nap (I think the first since we’ve been home). She likes to curl around me after she’s done nursing, and nap, so we stayed like that on the couch.

This face...sigh. You can't see all the scratches she's given herself from this angle either.

This face...sigh. You can't see all the scratches she's given herself from this angle either.

One of the town police sergeants stopped by late afternoon, to get our take on the fence fire, and asked us to keep an eye out for any further activity (they believe the fire was set, and have an idea about who it may be–one of the kids in the neighborhood).

Early Intervention also called to set up our initial appointment; they’ll be here next Wednesday to meet with us and see Lila, and decide what further appointments need to be made. I’ll explain more about their involvement in Lila’s development after they come, and we have a better idea of what to expect.

And then dad came home!

Jon came home from work a little bit early, and made dinner with Lila, while I ran around the house and picked up everything I’d tossed during the day. Baby stuff piles up FAST, and you need to keep multiples of a lot of things all over the house. This place is rapidly turning into Babyland, much as I might try to fight it.

And now, Little Miss is being a fusspot. A cute fusspot, but fussy nonetheless. I’m thinking it’s bedtime, for all of us.

Semi-cheesy 90s women power movie, or the current story of our lives? You pick.

Our first day home yesterday turned mighty interesting. Later in the afternoon, Jon went into the kitchen for something, and as I look up to see what he’s doing, I can see through the deck slider that the backyard is covered in smoke. Next I hear “honey? don’t freak out, but the fence in the backyard is on fire”–um, WHAT?! I was holding a sleeping Lila at the time, and run into the kitchen to see what was going on. I could see flames quickly making their way up the back length of the fence, and smell the smoke in the air.

Thankfully, the FD was already here (no sirens), and were already dragging a hose over to it. Jon went outside to talk to the firemen, and see if we’d need to leave (Paranoid Mom in effect, wondering about Lila inhaling any of the smoke seeping into the house). He came back a little bit later, we were fine to stay, as the fire was put out fairly quickly, and the smoke had already cleared. According to the firemen, the fire was either set, by “some punk kids” (quote from Jon), or was due to someone in one of the houses behind us flicking a lit cigarette off their porch (apparently their backyard is littered with cigarette butts…SO glad they aren’t directly behind us, and that we have the fence enclosing our yard). We have to decide if we want to file an insurance claim on this or not…ugh. Just what I feel like dealing with. The damage to the fence from our side is barely noticeable, so we have to talk it over and figure it out.

In other news, Lila’s first night at home went as well as could be expected. Jon slept through most of it (typical guy!), and I stared at her all night, jumping at any sound she made. I even jumped up when she was too quiet. Lila did so well, she would wake up (with my help) every 3ish hours, Jon would change her, I’d nurse her, and she’d head back to bed, with little fussing. She did spit up in the pack & play a while after each feeding, so I think tonight we’re going to try boosting one end of it up on books or something, and see if putting her on a slight incline will help. She burps after she eats (in case any of you were dying to know), so I’m not sure of the reason for the delayed spitting up, but I’ll be asking her pedi tomorrow.

Roxie is still making herself scarce, she’s more pissed at me, than at Jon. She’s hissing occasionally now, but will come down for food or to use her litter box. She’ll let Jon pet her, give me the evil eye, and slink back upstairs. Poor kitty. She’ll come around though, she has no choice.

Charlene, the VNA nurse, came this morning, and Lila was very well behaved for her. Charlene checked out her breathing, heartrate, and reflexes, and weighed her, and Lila slept through most of it, only waking at the end of Charlene’s visit because she was hungry. Charlene is going to come back on Friday, and thereafter a couple of times a week, just to check on her weight gain and see how she’s doing. We think this will help ease some of our concerns, and just make sure we’re on the right track with everything.

We also tried venturing out today, just a short trip to Babies R Us, so that my first trip out with her wouldn’t be by myself, tomorrow for her pedi appointment. I’m SO glad we did this. I made Jon let me do everything–put her in her car seat, drive, load/unload the stroller, and get her into and out of the car in her seat, and into and out of the stroller. Just so I could get more comfortable doing all of that, and Jon would be there to help if I needed it. I’ll feel better going out alone tomorrow, having done that today.

Now, Lila will tell you that her experience with her first trip out was a bit different. Girly had a meltdown almost minutes after we walked into BRU. Walking around with her in the stroller wasn’t helping, so I went into the Mother’s Room (is that what it’s called?), to see if she needed to be changed. She was inconsolable, so I tried to see if she’d take the bottle we brought. She sucked some of it down, and I changed her, and she still was miserable. After a few minutes of swaying and talking to her, she finally calmed down, so I went back out to Jon. We’d been gone like 15 minutes! I made a bunch of new friends in there as well. I can’t tell if the other moms felt bad for me, with Lila so unhappy, or thought I was crazy to bring a 3+ week old out in public. They were very sweet to me, and said they’d been there, so I was grateful for that. It’s crazy how Lila screaming made me feel like I should turn in my mom card, and try again later. I know babies cry, I’m sure I’ll get used to it. Just had to get through my first Public Meltdown, I think.

Lila continued to be a very angry elf for the rest of the afternoon. I tried nursing her when I got home, and she ate like it was her first meal of the day. She, of course, promptly spit up most of it, all over herself, the boppy, and me. And the yelling started again, poor thing. I’m not sure why she was so angry today. I finally calmed her down again, and she snoozed on my chest for almost 2 hours–mom got a mini nap in as well, yay! Then we tried the eating again, and so far, that has stayed down.

She is now snoozing in her vibrating chair…well, as long as we keep turning the vibrating on. We are going to attempt Baby’s First Bath (at home; she had some at the hospital, which I’ve already posted about) once she wakes up, this should be interesting.

Content, as long as the chair doesn't stop vibrating

Content, as long as the chair doesn't stop vibrating

(Mum, sorry, no “fancy” pics yet. We’re still getting used to her. But there will be plenty in no time, I’m sure!)

I’m hoping to feel more at ease with her as the days go by. I will probably feel better after she sees her pedi tomorrow too, so he can reassure me that she’s not going to break any second. I know this will all take some getting used to, I just have to be patient. We are loving every second of her being home, even when we have no idea what to do. That will come, with time.

Today just very well may be the happiest day of our lives.

Waiting patiently for her first road trip

Waiting patiently for her first road trip

She snoozed the whole way home...

She snoozed the whole way home...

I haven't stopped grinning like a fool since we left the hospital

I haven't stopped grinning like a fool since we left the hospital

Neither has dad

Neither has dad

I’ll write a more detailed post about Lila’s homecoming later on. Today, the three of us are just laying low, and starting to figure out how we function as a family. Roxie isn’t very amused at this point, but she’ll come around. No hissing yet, just lots of avoiding and slinking around.

We still can’t believe she’s finally HOME.

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